A Thousand Tears I've Shed Over My First Love
by WindWriter17
Summary: Cho and Harry are in love but having problems. THey need to talk about Cedric, but they can't do that while they are together. Heartbroken but still in love, they resort to a pain-filled summer of letters and lust. PG for language and some romantic scenes
1. Heartbreak Sounding Through the Rain

Hey guys, it's me again. Okay, so sometimes I get bored with my stories so it's time for a new one! This chapter's a little sad, I myself almost cried during it. Please R&R, chapter 2 is on the way!  
  
"Cho!" Harry called over the sound of rain beating on roofs like drumsticks. Cho was running away, away from him, forever. "I swear – Cho – I've never loved someone as much as you." A sob escaped his lips, and hearing those words, Cho stopped mid-step. She turned around her face fiery, streaming with tears. Her dark, wet hair was coming out of a loose ponytail as a result of the pouring rain she was running in and she glared at him with fierceness only love could bring.  
  
"If you loved me," she started, her voice shaking, "you'd know that even though it has been three years, I STILL need to talk about it! Dammit, Harry! I can't just forget incidents of the past! Cedric was my FIRST LOVE, and I thought you would understand that."  
  
A tear escaped Harry's eye, but he quickly brushed it away. "I do understand that," he said quietly. "But you were MY first love, and still are. I am being selfish, you're right. But it's so fucking hard to remember the memories that have to do with you being in pain."  
  
The tears that had momentarily stopped running down her face started up again. "Harry," she said, her voice choked with anguish, "I love you more than you could ever imagine. But we obviously can't talk about this while we're together – our emotions get in the way every time we actually make any progress. So – I think, for the time being, the summer, maybe – we need to have some space, relationship wise."  
  
Harry's heart skipped a beat. He knew they needed just to be friends for a while, but he loved her too much... "If that's what you want. I hope we can still see each other, because I need to talk about him as well."  
  
Cho looked at him from tear-filled eyes, not only filled with tears but relief as well. "Thank you, Harry. Don't forget that I haven't stopped loving you." She had to leave. Now. Right now. Her heart was shattering into a million pieces. She turned away from him and started walking to the sidewalk, but Harry caught her arm. Damn his stupid Quidditch reflexes. He turned her around and gave her a soft kiss on the mouth. "You're welcome, you fucking piece of work."  
  
He gave her a half-hearted grin and she couldn't help but smile through her tears. "I have to go," she murmured, and with that, her heart couldn't take it any more and she burst into tears and ran away from him. 


	2. The First Hundred Tears

YES PEOPLE! DON'T FRET! IT WILL TURN OUT HAPPY! Lol, thanks for the reviews guys keep writin em it makes me wanna right more! Okay, so here's chapter 2! PLEASE R&R! Give me pointers! Criticize! I don't care! Just DO IT!!! By the way its really very sad, but I like it that way, for now. They get happier, but theres a lot of drama, so prepare youselves! Again! Please R&R!  
  
Cho held back an unvoiced sob. Tears silently streamed down her face as she finished her letter to Harry.  
  
... and I am so sorry, Harry. Although it hurts to be writing this, I know it's for the best. And although I love you more than you could ever possibly imagine, I know that for a while I need to not be tortured by being near you. And that is why I think we should correspond by letters, and I am going to Rome, Italy for 2 weeks to think. If it is an absolute emergency, I am staying at a wizarding inn, and you can pop in if needed, through the fire, or apparation. Remember that I still love you.  
  
- Cho  
  
It seemed that she would never be able to stop crying. Her heart was still breaking...it wouldn't break completely so she could start mending it. Tears stained the cream envelope as she addressed it and sent it away with her owl, Harper. As soon as the tawny owl had disappeared into the clouds, she threw herself down at her dining room table, rested her head on the table, and burst into tears...again.  
  
Harry sat, completely unmoving, in front of his muggle television, watching some completely cockamamie show...this was completely ridiculous. He didn't care whatever the hell ring-tailed lemurs ate before they had sex. Please. All he wanted to do was talk to Cho. He wanted to see her...but he knew that his heart would break again if he saw her.  
  
He was startled out of his television trance by a tawny owl, tapping at his window. He instantaneously recognized it as Cho's owl. For a moment he was frozen, wondering why she had sent a letter rather than come see him herself.  
  
Soon he shook himself out of that as well, read the letter, and slowly sat down. So she wanted to keep him at arm's length, then? Or maybe a few thousand miles. God, he loved her. It felt as though his heart was metal – only less durable – and she was a magnet, constantly pulling his heart, nearly ripping it out of his entire body. He drowned in emotion when he thought of her. Her face hid behind his eyelids to haunt him always, with her beautiful, almond eyes and her long, dark curtain of hair.  
  
This was too much. He had to stop. He had to. He tipped his head back, closed his eyes, and for the first real time in years, Harry wept. 


	3. New Friends in a Foreign Land

Just as you all asked! A whopping chapter – but this one's all on Cho, no Harry right now. The next ones coming v. soon cause I am extremely bored and probably about to write it. Please R&R!  
  
Cho stood in the foyer of the wizard inn, Boggoglytroth (who knows where that name came from), laden down with three suitcases and her purse. Why was she here? She should just apparate back to her cozy little apartment in London. She couldn't be this far away from Harry. It would kill her.  
  
Nonetheless, she bravely walked up to the counter where a bored- looking teenage girl sat, blowing huge purple bubbles with her bubblegum. Once Cho had cleared her throat a few times, the girl finally looked up, and asked simply, "Name?"  
  
"Cho Chang, for three weeks?" she asked nervously. She was in ROME without her family, friends, or James...she was on her own.  
  
"Gotcha," said the girl, still evidently caring less. "Room 315. Nice view from that one. Lucas'll show ya the way," she added, gesturing to a tall, handsome guy, already starting over to pick up her suitcases.  
  
"Follow me," he said with a friendly smile, and he started walking up the stairs.  
  
As they walked, he showed her a few of the many beautiful Grecian views from the large, open windows. He even made her laugh a few times with his good-natured sense of humor. Not all guys are a piece of work, she thought to herself drily.  
  
When they reached her room, she walked in, slightly hesitant, then more confident, and threw open the shutters. The girl at the counter was right, the view was gorgeous. It revealed a beach with perfectly white sand, and sky blue water, with a matching sky.  
  
After she finished drooling over her view and her beautiful room (decorated with a light wood – Cherry? – and spotless white and baby blue fabrics), she remembered Lucas behind her, and turned around and returned his friendly smile and thanked him.  
  
Encouraged by her smile, Lucas cleared his throat and then raised his eyes to her face as if he were going to say something. She asked with her eyes, but he apparently decided against it and shook his head slightly, gave her a not-so-genuine grin and started back out the door.  
  
The regular Cho would have not given it another thought and started unpacking, but today she was in an oddly independent mood, complete with bundles of confidence, so she caught his arm and asked, "Lucas, I'm here to give myself some space from my boyfriend. You see, we're having trouble talking about some things from the past when we're together, but I'd love a friend familiar to the area to show me around..." Knowing he'd need no further hints, she stopped there. Lucas found his warm smile again, and responding very quickly to her unsubtle invitation, asked, "I'd love to be that friend, if you'd like to go out for dinner tonight, with a few of my friends. They're very nice, I'm sure you'll like them...I could show you around the city a bit afterwards, as well. The good wizard restaurants, shops, et cetera."  
  
"Sounds wicked," Cho said, and thinking she would need some time to find all her clothes to dress for tonight, decided to close the conversation, but Lucas beat her to it.  
  
"Cool," he replied, sounding like he meant it. "I should let you unpack. I'll come by your door tonight when my shift ends, around 7?"  
  
"Awesome. Thanks so much, Lucas."  
  
"No problem," and with that, he left her to her beautiful room, shutting the door quietly.  
  
What a gentleman! thought Cho. Harry was very polite and always opened and held doors for her, slid her chair away from the table for her, but he always kept a down to earth attitude, and never tried to be quite this nice and polite in his manner of speaking. I should invite Jane down here, she would absolutely adore it.  
  
Sighing happily, she started opening her suitcases and putting her belongings away neatly. Maybe a quick stop at the beach before dinner couldn't hurt.  
  
Coming back two hours later from the beach, slightly browner and covered with sand, Cho had just enough time to shower and get dressed. After she had removed all the sand from her skin, she surveyed her wardrobe choices with deep concentration.  
  
After a few seconds she decided on a white, cotton skirt and a dark blue tank top with some delicate straw sandals. Perfect. Casual, but formal enough for dinner. She didn't really need to do anything to her face or hair, she looked best un-fooled around with.  
  
Well, maybe a bit of lip color couldn't hurt.  
  
And eyeliner.  
  
But that's it.  
  
At exactly 7 o'clock Cho heard a knock on her door and looked away from the book she was reading and glanced at the clock.  
  
He's even on TIME! she thought, impressed. She got up from the window seat and went to open the door. He is GORGEOUS, she thought. Oops. She was only spending a little time away from Harry, not really breaking up with him. Oh well. She was allowed to think other blokes were attractive, wasn't she? It's not like they were married or anything.  
  
"Hey! Let me just grab my purse and we can start out," she said briskly, grabbing her purse and wallet and closing the door behind her. "So, where are we going? And with who? So I can, like, not mispronounce their names or anything, seeing as that's happened before and I'd rather like not to repeat the experience."  
  
Lucas laughed and replied, "You certainly talk a lot when you get over being shy." He smiled again and answered her question. "I thought we'd go to a touristy place called Taverna Parione. Since, I'm assuming, you've never been to Rome before, we'd take you out for some traditional roman cuisine."  
  
"Sounds lovely. But again, with whom? I always mispronounce people's names and it's awfully embarrassing."  
  
He laughed again. "My dear friend Macaria is very nice. She's tall, dark haired and dark skinned. Green eyes, though. Then there's Jason, he's short with blonde hair, oh, and Magan and Madge are fraternal twins – Madge is the girl, Magan, the guy, I know its hard to tell when you're not from around here. Last, there's Galena and Vernados. Girl and guy, again."  
  
"Okay. I think I can handle all those names," she said, feeling overwhelmed with the amount of foreign names. They were now on the bustling streets of Rome, smelling the sweet and savory scents of food cooking for the long hours of dinner.  
  
A few minutes later, they were outside a beautiful, roman- styled restaurant with lots of warm, red colors and soft lights. There was a group of six people standing outside and laughing. Once they had caught sight of Lucas, they called a few welcoming "Yiasas!" which Cho guessed was hello. She smiled and thought frantically, I sincerely hope they speak English...No sooner then she had said this, one of Lucas's friends – Cho guessed Magan because there was a girl there that looked very much like him – stepped forward and said, "Now who's this?" he had a friendly smile, much like Lucas's. They're so friendly! thought Cho. If only Harry was here. He would love meeting new people and exploring Greece with me...  
  
She didn't like to admit it, but as much fun as she was having, she missed him. 


	4. If You Love Something, Let It Go

I can't believe myself! I keep making mistakes! I am so sorry. As I put in my profile-type-thing, for the last few chapters I have said Rome is in Greece, not Italy. And in the last chapter I called Harry James! Good lord. You see what summer has done to me?  
  
Also, I appreciate your comments but I have told you I am an unbearably fluffy writer, e.g. the very first chapter starting out with such drama, like a soap. Also the sudden changes from happy to sad. So forgive me, but I can't help it. It's like a disease. Probably OCD. Anyway. Please R&R!  
  
Harry sat in a coffee shop in Diagon Alley with Ron and Hermione. Hermione had suggested a trip to a fun place, knowing that Harry was depressed about Cho. She was going to try and avoid the subject, but that didn't work out at all the way she planned.  
  
"What did she say, mate? Maybe she still wants to see you, just, I dunno, wants to give it a break for a while, yeah? I doubt she wants to split." Ron, the blabbermouth that he is, brought it up right away.  
  
"She said that she still needed to talk about Cedric. That even though it was, like, three years ago she's still not over it. But we can't talk about it while we're together. So now, she's run off to Italy and I can't talk to her unless I send her letters," Harry replied blankly, still feeling as though she had ripped his heart out of his chest, thrown it on the floor, and stomped on it.  
  
"Oh, Harry," Hermione said sympathetically. "I'm sorry. I know you really want to see her."  
  
"Is it that obvious?" he asked, looking up from his shoes.  
  
"Well..." Hermione hesitated.  
  
"Yes," Ron said right away.  
  
"Fabulous," Harry said, his face clouding over once more. Rolling his eyes at himself, he got up and stretched. "Let's get moving. I'm tired of myself. I need something to do, besides think about her."  
  
"How about Fortescue's then, yeah? We can get a sundae if you like. I'll even pay. Mum and Dad are still ecstatic about how many A's I got on my N.E.W.T.'s."  
  
Harry tried his very best to smile. "Sounds good."  
  
Cho walked inside of her room and shut her door quietly. How does EVERYTHING I do, to try and make myself happy, always end up wrong?  
  
She had had a good time walking the streets of Italy with Macaria, Madge, Magan, Jason, Lucas, Galena and Vernados. But, as all groups of close friends do, they had their inside jokes, they knew how to make the others laugh, or how to annoy them. But Cho felt out of place without an Italian accent and without close friends. They obviously didn't try to exclude her, but she still felt out of place.  
  
Why did she ever run away from him? She needed him now, more than ever.  
  
Why am I such an idiot? This didn't solve my problems at all.  
  
Perhaps she could write him a letter. Tomorrow might be better. She promised to call Macaria, Galena, and Madge so they could hang out on the beach. Tomorrow will be better, she vowed to herself.  
  
She still needed to write that letter. So badly. She knew what she had to do. She was hanging on to nothing. She needed SPACE.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
This is going to sound awful after all I've put you through...but I am in so much pain. I don't want to do this, at all. But it's hanging over my head like a thunder cloud, ready to burst.  
  
Tears started pouring down her face.  
  
I know you don't want to hear this...or maybe you do. Maybe I've been so horrible that you never want to see me again. I know I want to see you. But I need space so badly...I'm not sure what to do anymore.  
  
The ink was running.  
  
I'm not even sure what to think anymore. I have a few friends here, but I feel so out of place without another British person...I need to let go of it all and just fly free for a while. My heart is breaking with every word I write, I hope you know...I also know that you're in more pain than you ever deserve to feel.  
  
He would be able to tell she was crying, without the tear drops that blurred every other word.  
  
I know you remember the saying, "If you love something, let it go...  
  
If it comes back, it's yours; that's how you know." I wonder if you're reading into what I'm saying already. I know you feel the same way, don't try to deny it and DON'T make that face at me...  
  
She smiled through her tears, and grabbed a tissue out of the box beside her bed.  
  
Harry. I think we need more than just actual space between us. I think we need to be free to flirt and run wild. I think we need to be apart. And not just apart physically. Emotionally.  
  
All smiles that had lingered before flew away.  
  
I need to leave you. For now. I know I'll come back – I couldn't live too long without you. But Harry –  
  
The tears were coming faster.  
  
I think we should just be friends.  
  
-Cho  
  
She lay back on the many pillows on her bed. She closed her eyes, and let the tears fall, fall until they were all gone, so she could start mending her broken heart. 


End file.
